The Villain
If I’m being honest, the most devastating trauma I’ve suffered hasn’t come from what’s been done to me—
It’s come from what I’ve done to others.
People say, don’t play the victim.
But my victim card’s been revoked—permanently.
I’ve hurt people I swore to love.
And what’s worse? I thought I was doing it with good intentions.
I thought I was choosing myself.
Great sentiment.
Shitty execution.
And honestly—despite the Nagasaki I left behind—it was probably what I needed.
And that’s the saddest part.
Why couldn’t I have needed less?
Why couldn’t I have counted the cost?
I made it out of the mine.
Out of the dark.
And the sunlight that should have shunned me.
Touched me again.
Most people complain about not getting what they deserve.
I’m just grateful.
Grateful that from grace, a love was born.
A freedom to forgive.
A freedom to live.
I can’t go back.
But I can understand.
I’ll never be the victim.
I’ll always be the villain.
But a villain who loves—
A villain who listens—
A villain who helps someone else escape the gallows of self-loathing, hatred, and loneliness—
Is better than a villain damned.
If hell awaits me—
If karma is waiting to pounce—
Let it catch me gently holding the heart of someone else, whispering to it like it’s still human.
Like humans are still children.
Like children are still worth saving.
If I can’t make it to heaven, let me be heaven.
Especially for those who least expect it.
"If I’m being honest, the most devastating trauma I’ve suffered hasn’t come from what’s been done to me—
It’s come from what I’ve done to others."
Such a powerful truth right there.
Why are there zero comments? ... not a single one?.. not even a thumbs-up emoji.??
You're An Artist who casually takes a dull knife to yourself, opens your soul and leaves your steaming guts on a page.
And you do it twice.
So no one has an opinion about "Defiance" and "Behind the Girl,... " or about the spontaneity and courage that gave them life?
And not even a thought about how the style and brevity of these two pieces exposed so much of your angst with so few words.
As they say to all invisible warriors who are taken for granted...
"Oh, yeah.. and Thank you for your Service."